Could today’s kids survive in ancient Rome? Here’s the harsh reality of life as a Roman child
Historian Bettany Hughes reveals what growing up in the ancient Roman Empire was really like – from knucklebones and wooden swords to beatings, duty and astonishingly high mortality
For children across the ancient Roman empire, life began fast but often ended early.
Almost as soon as they were able to navigate the world on their own two feet, children were expected to obey, work and prepare for a life of duty, whether as farmers, soldiers, citizens or mothers.
“Basically, as soon as you could walk, you were working as a child in the ancient world,” says historian and broadcaster Bettany Hughes, speaking on the HistoryExtra podcast.
“You were taking messages, you were expected to help out in the households and there is no doubt it was very tough.”
But how does a Roman childhood compare to the modern experience? And could today’s children have survived the streets of ancient Rome?
How the Romans disciplined their children
Roman society was deeply hierarchical, and that structure began at home. While mothers were central to early childcare, ultimate authority rested with the father. The paterfamilias – the male head of the household – had legal authority over the entire family, including the power to punish or disown children.
And discipline could be violent.
“They were chastised with canes and whips,” Hughes says. “It was a different experience to that of children in the 21st century.”
Hughes explains that a lot of what we know about childhood and parenting comes from Roman authors, who didn’t shy away from giving advice on child-rearing – often in stern or moralising tones.
“The Romans are very good at pontificating about how you should and shouldn't do things,” says Hughes. “There was a ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ approach in ancient Rome – which is what then gets translated to Victorian Britain.”
Harsh discipline was justified as being part of the greater good, and this strictness reflected wider Roman ideals. Self-control, toughness and obedience were seen as core virtues – and childhood was where those lessons began.
Ancient Roman rites of passage
Despite the hardships, Roman children weren’t excluded from social or cultural life, and these moments could help to shape their sense of identity and community.
“Children in Roman times were allowed to attend festivals, which was one of the ways that they learned about their society,” Hughes explains.
One such event was Parentalia, held in February, when families visited the tombs of their ancestors to honour the dead – and establish a sense of reverence for their lineage.
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“There were whole festivals that were dedicated to the ancestors,” says Hughes. “You were supposed to go to show that you understood there was a whole family tree behind you.”
For boys in their mid-teens, the most important transition came in March, during Liberalia – a coming-of-age celebration where adolescents received the toga virilis, or ‘toga of manhood’. The garment marked their new role as full Roman citizens. Hughes describes this as a “rite of passage … proving that they’d become real men.”
Children also joined in the December festival of Saturnalia, which included feasting, gift-giving and moments of role reversal – elements that would later influence Christmas traditions.
Toys, games and play-fighting
Beyond the festivals, Roman childhood had its more mundane moments of daily joy. Archaeological finds suggest children, especially from wealthier households, had access to toys and games.
The games could be very simple, with playing pieces made from cheap or discarded materials. Hughes recounts how simple games like knucklebones – in which a number of small items are tossed and scored depending on how they landed – were played with “the ankle bones of sheep and goats and pigs”.
“It was really, really popular,” Hughes adds. “Everybody seemed to play knucklebones in the ancient world.”
Children from elite families had more elaborate options. “If you're really wealthy,” she says, “there were little mini-chariots pulled by goats that you could have as a well-to-do Roman child.”
Militarism was also woven into Roman culture, and that extended to toys too. “Young boys were given wooden daggers and swords to practise play-fighting with.”
Dolls also existed, and were more elaborate than you might expect, sometimes made of terracotta or ivory and designed with jointed limbs.
“We often think we do things better than people in the past,” Hughes says. “But actually, if you look at the dolls that they use, they were really sophisticated – with beautiful moving arms, moving legs, moving necks.”
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Growing up in the shadow of death
However, not all children born would live to play knucklebones, or ride in goat-pulled chariots. The rate of child mortality in ancient Rome was shockingly high.
Historians estimate that between 30 and 50 per cent of children died before reaching the age of ten. Disease, poor nutrition and limited medical care were constant threats. Roman families often had many children, knowing some might not survive.
Even so, children were mourned. Graves, reliefs and inscriptions show that Roman parents grieved deeply and commemorated lost children. But there was also a sense of pragmatic acceptance – another reason why children were expected to mature early.
Could a modern child survive in ancient Rome? They’d have to endure hard chores and physical discipline. But beyond the physicality of it, the required shift in attitude would be just as dramatic. Roman childhood was rooted in duty, hierarchy and resilience – it was, effectively, a short and tough training period for adulthood, with little room for error.
And yet, perhaps surprisingly, some aspects would still feel familiar: toys, family rituals, coming-of-age ceremonies and festivals. These were recognisable moments of childhood fun, in an otherwise brutal context.
Bettnay Hughes was speaking to Emily Briffett on the HistoryExtra podcast. Listen to the full conversation.
Authors
James Osborne is a digital content producer at HistoryExtra where he writes, researches, and edits articles, while also conducting the occasional interview